Well, we did it. We moved to Pennsylvania. Yes, this is our fifth move in four states in five years. Those who have been reading my blog (all the way back to when it was called Married My Boaz) for some time know the when's and why's. For the new readers let me give you a quick review. I moved from Texas to Arkansas when I married my husband in the fall of 2017. His company relocated us to Broken Arrow, Oklahoma in fall 2018. In the spring of 2019, they relocated us to Colorado Springs, CO. He then accepted a position with a different company in the same industry that took us back to Oklahoma in the spring of 2020. In the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, we moved 12 hours. Then this year spring of 2021 he accepted a position back with his previous company that said they needed an experienced Assistant Director in Pennsylvania. So, here we are, Johnstown Pennsylvania. It's cold. It's green. It's beautiful.
If I said I jumped up and down and completely hopped on board with this move I would be a BIG. FAT. LIAR. I cried. I was mad. I said a few things to my husband that I had to apologize for. My thought, we just moved back home, Oklahoma is home for us. With our blended family of seven kids, along with our eight grand littles, they were all living in Oklahoma except my independent Maddi, who resides in Colorado Springs. I am sure Moms out there can understand my kicking and screaming in leaving Oklahoma.
As a mom, we think our kids will always need us. They will need us close, to babysit, to be available to them, to be their savior when something falls apart, and to be close if and when they need us. When you are dropping your kids off at Kindergarten, their first sleepover, or summer camp, they say it gets easier as they get older. They are right. It gets easier on the kids, not on a mommas heart. The kids run off and live their lives. The world sees a teenager, a young adult, or a grown-bearded man, our mama's heart sees the toddler who cried when you left the room. The scared preteen who left for the first overnight camp. We know how fast time flies by and we mama's want to hold on to every second. Life gets harder on a mama when they realize they can no longer protect them from the things of this world.
I knew or I thought I knew in my heart they needed me and I CAN NOT leave Oklahoma again. I was standing my ground. This move was a mistake. I enlisted my father-in-law, sister-in-law, friends, and pastors to pray for his will in the situation. In my heart praying, his will was to stay. I even made the statement the Lord will have to descend from the heavens and tell me to go. I was adamant about staying. My grown children need me! They need me close. They need me available to them. My grand littles need me. I was not giving an inch. I previously stated I knew in my heart. Well, never trust your heart, Jeremiah 17:9
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9
Well the Lord descended from the heavens of course not in the manner you would imagine. But, he did. I had not discussed with one soul my worries on why I was adamant about staying in Oklahoma. People knew I loved my family being close and that we loved our church. Our church has a Tuesday night prayer. My husband is a "never miss church or prayer" man. So, we were there. My pastor who had not ever done this before laid his hands on me in Tuesday night prayer and prayed {paraphrasing of course} that I would let my kids go and to give me peace and have faith that God will protect them and guide them. That they are in his hands. Right then and there, believe it or not, I knew we were going and I wasn't worried, apprehensive, or mad. I knew God himself hadn't descended from the heavens himself but used a godly man who obeyed and prayed specifics over me.
A couple of weeks prior to this my pastor preached a message that hit me like a ton of bricks. It was like conviction rained down and flooded not just me but everything I touched. I knew I had been mad at a Pastor and his wife from my past or eight solid years. I knew I had to forgive them for what I thought they had done. I knew I needed to ask for their forgiveness for what I had done. I couldn't shake this conviction. So, in the middle of the cold February night, I sent a long heartfelt text to his pastor and his wife praying their numbers were the same. Then prayed and told God the outcome was in his hands. The next morning she messaged me and was very receptive and that was that we reconnected like a day had not gone by. You may be thinking what does this have to do with her kids, why is this relevant to their move? Well...... Because God is AWESOME! After the conviction, midnight text, and reconnection my daughter-in-law told me she wanted to attend an Apostolic church and asked where would I recommend her going. If I had not weeks before listening to God and used the conviction I felt and messaged her leaving the results to God. I wouldn't have sent them to this particular chruch. They are now attending church with their children and my firstborn daughter. I am so grateful my pastor preached what God gave him. I am thankful I listened to conviction and I am overjoyed my children have returned and started walking in the truth.
So, if you see the process of moving started way back before we even knew Pennsylvania was in our future. God, has gone before us and worked it out for his glory {life goals, his glory}. I am reminded of Hannah, in 1 Samuel she petitions God and asks for a child, declaring she will dedicate him back to the Lord when he is weaned. God gives her a son, Samuel, when he is weaned she does what she said and then rejoices (2 Samuel)
Hannah’s Song of Thanksgiving
2 Hannah prayed and said,
“My heart rejoices and triumphs in the Lord; My horn (strength) is lifted up in the Lord, My mouth has opened wide [to speak boldly] against my enemies,Because I rejoice in Your salvation. “There is no one holy like the Lord, There is no one besides You, There is no Rock like our God. “Do not go on boasting so very proudly, Do not let arrogance come out of your mouth; For the Lord is a God of knowledge, And by Him actions are weighed (examined). “The bows of the mighty are [a]broken, But those who have stumbled equip themselves with strength. “Those who were full hire themselves out for bread, But those who were hungry cease [to hunger]. Even the barren [woman] gives birth to seven, But she who has many children withers away. “The Lord puts to death and makes alive; He brings down to Sheol (the grave) and raises up [from the grave]. “The Lord makes poor and makes rich; He brings low and He lifts up. “He raises up the poor from the dust, He lifts up the needy from the ash heap To make them sit with nobles, And inherit a seat of honor and glory; For the pillars of the earth are the Lord’s, And He set the land on them. “He guards the feet of His godly (faithful) ones, But the wicked ones are silenced and perish in darkness; For a man shall not prevail by might. “The adversaries of the Lord will be broken to pieces; He will thunder against them in the heavens, The Lord will judge the ends of the earth; And He will give strength to His [b]king, And will exalt the horn (strength) of His anointed.”
1 Samuel 2:1-10
According to theologians he was weaned between the ages of 3-4, the World Health Organization says worldwide the average weaning age is 4.5. Imagine praying until you can't speak asking God for a child. He gives you one and just a few short years later you drop them off at a temple with a preacher to give him back to God. Then you rejoice!?!? Here I am, raised my kids. I was there for everything and they are (this year) 27, 24, 22, 20, and 15. I am crying and arguing with God about leaving them 16 hours away. But, when I decided mentally and spiritually to let God be my children's savior and leave them in his hands in Oklahoma and Colorado, he one hundred percent showed me he's got this, they are his! Therefore, I rejoice in knowing he can do way more with my prayers for them than my presence. So, I challenge you today if you are struggling with letting go of your children pray, and ask God to give you the kind of peace and rejoicing had in returning Samuel to the temple and knowing he belongs to God.
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